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By: Ned and your garden
9/1/2010 9:50:51 AM
We have some people (Bill and Patty) staying in our downstairs, and this morning, Bill was sitting out in the garden on Amanda's bench. He sat there peacefully for a long time, and then came over and asked about Amanda and Buddhism. I told him your story, and he mentioned that he and Patty were "Christian Buddhists" and had just been to India to visit all the areas the Buddha went to. He brought back a leaf from the original Bodhi tree, and he left it with the Buddha in your garden. It's an incredible gesture, and I wanted to share it with you all. I will take a picture later and post it. Miss you.
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By: Sasha
8/15/2010 7:55:51 PM
Spent some time with Missila this week... neither one of us said it, but I was missing you there. Looking at her so ready to bring a new baby into the world (one which you would have smothered with your love) made me so bittersweet in my happiness. Our collective anticipation and joy was palpable, and yet I wanted you there, dammit.
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By: Chad
7/12/2010 4:47:37 PM
Om Mani Padma Hung
We love and miss your presence. thank you for all the butterflys your bring to all of us.
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By: Ned and your garden
7/12/2010 11:42:42 AM
Hey Amanda, your garden kicks ass! (But you know that). Spent some time in there this morning, and it always reminds me of you. Going to take some pictures and get them posted so everyone can enjoy. And if anyone is nearby, please stop in. If we're not home, just relax and enjoy it.
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By: Bev
7/12/2010 10:57:56 AM
Thinking of you today and how beautiful of a person you are!! You are in our thoughts.. Butterflies in my garden remind me of you! We were so blessed to have known you and continue to miss your presence!
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By: Derek
6/14/2010 2:54:08 PM
i miss you
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By: Michelle Jacoby
5/2/2010 10:05:27 PM
Thinking of you on your Birthday. Happy Birthday Amanda!
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By: Dale Albert
8/20/2009 11:25:13 AM
I think often about Amanda (I always called her Mandy which may say a little bit on how long I've known her). Her and her family (although we do not see each other often) will always have a special place in my heart. She is undoubtably missed by many and will be loved forever.
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By: M.
8/6/2009 8:48:45 PM
Amanda.. A friend I miss every day. Girl you are thought of always, missed more than one could ever know, and in my heart forever!
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By: Sasha
11/27/2008 8:13:50 PM
I called Missy last night because I was thinking of her, feeling grateful to have her spirit in my life...it was Thanksgiving eve, and yet I thought to myself: why should I wait until the day itself to call and express my thoughts? Beyond my own gratitude for the sound of her voice, I wanted for her to know that she is an integral part of my life, one without which I would be remiss. I know times when we all gather together, and where Amanda's presence is so profoundly missed- these are moments full of sorrow. And yet... her laughter and light always remains. Today, and always, may we find strength and peace in the love we share.
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By: derek
8/21/2008 3:51:27 PM
Friday August 22nd at 10 am will be the final dispersal of Amanda's ashes in the catskills of NY, through out the beautiful Tibetan Monastery called Padme Samye Ling. Its 500 acres of beautiful rolling hills with plenty of deer, flowers, butterflies and lush green landscape and big open skies. It is a special time to send prayers and thoughts and realizing letting go of something as inseparable as colors in a rainbow is hard to grasp but necessary to move on. Life is constant and changing and nature and karma stop for no one. Amanda is and will always be a part of me and you and everyone else who had the honor of knowing her.. I am sending an infinite amount of love and compassion to you Amanda, may many people benefit from you and your presence now and in the future.. I will always and have always loved you and look forward to seeing you again as soon as this time allows
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By: Love & Compassion
7/17/2008 11:17:47 AM
Om Mani Padma Hung
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By: Derek
7/6/2008 10:32:48 AM
Written Saturday May 17th - excerpt.....
Today is the day Amanda and I would have been married. It’s a beautiful sunny day reflecting the blue of the sky and not a cloud in sight. I can only try to imagine how beautiful and radiant you would have looked. I’m smiling at just the thought.
This month we were to be married
Joined together
An official symbol to the world
Let it be so
Throughout all realms
Unborn and in love
Ripening each moment into eternal fullness
Everywhere
I rest in you
Complete in union;
Total Oneness
I love you Amanda and will never leave you because you are apart of me.
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By: sandy
7/1/2008 8:13:07 PM
As the one year make approches look not to what could have been but what life is without Amanda . This is a test to all who go through a loss of a loved one , inner thoughts come out on who you are and how you shape your life around the loss of a beautiful loved one . You grow as you think Amanda would have seen you grow and change living life differently , sometimes kinder more aware of others , sometimes doing things you always wanted to do knowing life is short !!! Amandas passing may have made your life richer in many ways giving you a reason to explore new interests and reaching down and thinking of ways to make this shot life more rewarding for you and your family. Amanda in her short life reached out and touched many people and had a bond with horses that gave her great joy , if only we could just step back and smell the roses just for awhile and listen to what Amandas life was. Joy , family , simple things like horseshoes on a sunny afternoon, and doing what you loved for work. We all can have some if not all of what Amanda had if only we take her love of life and use it to inrich our own lives. Thank Amandas love of life for reminding us we need to love others and live life like there may not be a tomorrow .Thank you Amanda for your great zest for life that we all should take note of, You are dearly missed.
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By: Dan (Derek's Dad)
6/21/2008 7:43:48 PM
Amanda; often thinking of you an Derek in my garden were the Butterflys fly so gracefully. In a corner of my garden leading out into the woods I made a little pond that fills up everytime it rains. Over this pond I built a little bridge connecting each side with various wild flowers that bring the dragon flys an butterflys. I often walk over that bridge and just stand in the middle knowing one day we will all cross that bridge and be on the other side with you.
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By: monique Waldron
5/2/2008 4:31:56 PM
amanda was a shining star. i think of her every day. i remember how she loved her birthday. she was one of those people who let everyone know because she would look forward to it so much. she was still like a little kid in that way. i just loved that about her. i have so many happy memories of her. happy birthday to my sweet and wonderful friend. i miss you.
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By: Ned
5/2/2008 2:18:58 PM
Happy Birthday, Amanda! Derek is on his way to New York to start the gardens. We'll be working on your gardens here. We'll tip a toast to you, and play a game of shoes in your honor. We miss you. Keep smiling on us.
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By: Mariah
4/28/2008 11:21:36 PM
Manda, in years past family and friends have celebrated a day in your honor. Girl, May 2nd, is going to be the day I celebrate the moments we spent together. Never did I believe that pink would be a color I would be drawn to. Today I will were pink because I miss you. Champagne cocktails will be raised, and a toast, I want to say, Thank You! Amanda, a girlfriend I love and cherish, so warm hearted and kind, yet so willing to kick ass in horse shoes any time. I admired your strengths, beauty, and great consumption of life. I enjoyed your girly girl ways, and your relaxation routine at the end of your horse shit shoveling days. You had a willingness to do any kind of work, even when we had to tend to the strawberrys by digging in the dirt. Manda, I will always remember the many moments we had together. My tree of life could have never grown with out you. A pink lotus I put in the middle in honor of you. The memories of you I hold in my heart where they will stay because from my sight you did depart. I wish to see you again, where ever in the universe that may be. Until then I have wonderful memories of those times you spent with me. Amanda your love is so strong that it will stay with those you loved forever. I miss you and all those day dreams we had hoped to do.
Amanda, Love You!
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By: Ned and Shannon
4/8/2008 2:44:05 PM
An update on Amanda's garden for everyone. Delicate shoots are breaking through the soil as the days get longer and warmer. Snow has been gone for a while now, and the spring cleanup is beginning. We walk out there daily, noting the subtle changes, as first the hardier plants rise, and we watch in anticipation for the smarter ones who stay in bed a little bit longer. The wild poppies have started, even though they won't bloom for another two months, and the magnolia is loading up on buds for its coming show. Soon a new carpet of mulch will be delivered to protect everything. We can't wait to see how the garden looks as it matures into its second season. We miss you tons, Amanda, but you have given us a great place to come and remember you. We feel you there daily. Everyone is free to come visit, whether you want to say hello or not, just stop on by.
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By: Sandy
4/5/2008 8:07:30 PM
Spring is here and life is coming back to the earth with a burst of color and renewed life. Amandas garden will be full of that life and color that is spring. Rejoice in the wonder of a fresh start and hope for a new beginning. Nature has a way of giving us a lift when we most need it, and spring is beautiful and full of suprises as was Amanda ! Sit and enjoy the garden you made in Amandas memory and reflect on the beauty that is spring and your Amanda. Happy thoughts and memories keep us going forward.
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By: D
3/13/2008 5:47:45 PM
9 months now, still not any easier and missing you more than ever. Really trying to work with what I have left. Following some of those dreams we talked about so often. Taking time for myself and different projects you always supported. It's just not nearly the same with out you here to share it with.
Forgiven so many things surrounding the cause of your absence, leaving me empty still. Just more compassionate emptiness, I'm guessing it's a start.
Cooking more mindfully than ever and working on that book i promised to write.
Always missing you........and hope somehow you can hear this.
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By: Jacki (man-farm)
2/20/2008 10:47:02 PM
About 2 months ago I was walking down Congress Street in Portsmouth. About 100 yards away there was a woman walking toward me. She was tall, slender, and beautiful; she had a graceful yet casual way about her walk. Her hair was short and was not quite styled, but fell perfectly around her face (a physical quality that I always admired about you…your hair would be a mess but you wore it so well!) My first thought was that this woman was you. It took me a moment to remember the tragedy and all that surrounds your passing. As the woman and I walked closer to one another I imagined the woman to be you and smiled at her as she past. I had to keep myself from saying “Hi Amanda!” As the distance grew between us I was hit with the reality of your death. The woman was not you and could not be you. I was suddenly quite conscious that there was now one less familiar face in this world. I find comfort mostly in the thoughts of your garden; a place where your beauty and warmth is memorialized. It took me quite a while to put this all in to words. I have just returned home from a journey and am feeling quite lost, nostalgic, excited…but also reflective. As I write this I feel relief! Your light and positive energy must be here with me. I will see you soon Amanda---on this site, in your garden, and in nature, for I am unable to see a pink flower without thinking of you!
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By: derek
2/7/2008 11:16:53 PM
Even now seven months having past. the loss of you is still touching so many many people... even now amidst learning how to live all over again, and really deciding to live again through no other choice than knowing you would want me to.... I'm learning how many more people loved you... you are so loved Amanda and so truly truly special and not to just me... thoughts of you arise in me with such intensity.... i feel your presence is nearby.... i just have to close my eyes and sometimes, i don't even have to do that.... i just know how much you love us too
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By: Mariah
1/21/2008 10:43:15 PM
NED COULD YOU PLEASE REPOST THIS EDITED VERSION OF MY SONG FOR AMANDA. THANK YOU!
To My Manda ~ Childhood living seemed so lovely for you... Things you wanted came naturally to you... Graceful lady you know who you are... You shared your love with many... Those near to you and far... I dream there is a place with many Wild Horses where you now rein... I watched your celebration for life and love just the same... To all those new beginnings... There wasn't an emotion you wanted to tame... There was no time you wanted to exit... From the lights of the stage... Your beauty majestic... Many places in the world you were able to play...I dream there ia a place with many Wild Horses that you now play... I now dream of you... Many moments of our lives... We shared a great friendship... I am thankful for all of those times... My heart has been broken... Many tears I have cried... But memories of you are still living... In my heart they do lie... I will ride those Wild Horses with you someday... Love Mariah
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By: Sandy
12/21/2007 9:27:34 PM
As family and friends gather for your first Christmas without beautiful Amanda do not be sad it does get better with time. Amanda would only want you to be happy. I have been through this with the loss of a sister so close to the Holidays and I know what you are all going through. Think of all the wonderful family gatherings that you shared and reflect on her smile and the joy you all had at this time of year. Toast her love of family and friends. May the bright light of your Amanda shine on you at Christmas.
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